Legend of Darkness

If you enjoy faraway places and magical creatures, with unlikely heroes and singing princesses that stubbornly do the opposite of suggested and possible explanation why we went into an Ice Age in the first place Legend is your movie. Riddely Scott hit gold with the classic Good versus Evil with a twist. Everyone and thing has a dark side, another side that makes them whole. Light and Dark, Love and Hate; you get the drift.  The Balance of all Things and the consistent struggle of keeping it even.

The main antagonist Darkness is well thought through and played by Tim Curry in his earlier acting career most likely a high Devil that wants Eternal Darkness and cold his servants are a band of three goblins (originaly four, he got em picked off early) headed by ‘the most black hearted’ goblin named Blix which is infact played by the female actor Alice Payton but voiced over by David Bennet. This should come as no surprise speaking goblins always had dark and milevent ties.  Darkness has a very dominating presence and it’s not because he’s a good seven to eight feet not including the hoof and horns, he spreads out like shadow. His air could smother an elephant which is why he scared the living hell out of me oh wait, still does.  In the United States version Darkness is shown in a weakened but still frightening form as he speaks to his trusted Blix. In the United Kingdom Version all you see is a black hand. Personally the hand is enough to make my mind do all these crazy assumptions as to what the devious goblin is speaking to. In Directors cut (which is super lean in my opinion I very nearly was in tears as I was giving the damn thing back to Wall Mart for my Five bucks) It’s just the hand in the opening sequence and at the end the part where the horns fixed back on the unicorn is non existent we just see the two as every thing’s now reset. Also the faerie Dance is cut out for time. So is The other alternate sequence with all four goblins explaining where the fourth, Tic went off to. Blunders sequence of when he gets the chicken’s claw for his right hand is also taken out.

Until the very last possible sequence featuring him, Blix always has an offhand rym rather he’s making merry or praising Big D as they call him. Tic is the most armored for sure but Blix carries more effects including a long curving sword he uses to hack off the unicorns horn, a dagger for multiple purposes and a blow dart with a small holder for the poison he uses for his fine darts. Blix and Pox seem to disappear during the final fight between Jack and Darkness but Goblins are known to slip through the cracks if they want to be scarce.

Jack and Princess Lily are the main protagonists focused on and seem to me a little more along the lines of Adam and Eve. Jack (Cruise) is pure of heart and spirit and it’s his love for Lily that gets him into trouble but eventually pulls them back out of it. He’s a reluctant, wild but likeable character that’s not glory seeking even when he dons armor and sword he hardly feels courageous as most of us would but sticks it out anyway because no one likes having his love interest taken and tempted let alone screwing with how we like things. Princess Lily (Sara) is in turn as innocent and pure hearted as Jack to a degree however there is a little more selfishness and defiance about her. This is possibly due to her being a princess and getting most anything she wanted and partly of her just being a mid-evil teenager that eventually dupes even the Dark Lord his self when he thinks she’s sided with him. It is undeniably half her fault the first unicorn is lured into the deadly trap Blix and Co were trying to lie themselves because she wanted to touch one. We are hard wired to do exactly the opposite of what we’re told half the time. She’s good enough to try putting things right which put herself in danger. There is a moment of oh crap she’s under Big Ds sway we’re screwed! I’d be lying if I said he didn’t speak to the Yang side that lies in us all making it stir and lift its head. Darkness undeniably reached for Lily’s darker side and whispered things to it but she couldn’t be swayed to total evil. 

The fairies are a well-played charming band and unsurprisingly my favorites are Brown Tom (Hubbert) and Oona (Lanyon). Brown Tom reminds me of a buck toothed Leprechaun that knows how to use a frying pan and Oona’s the beautiful pixie anyone would want on their side. To be in love with them would be a touchy matter seeing how she acts with Jack. she may act sweet and soft as a rose but she still has thorns as Pixies are also the jealous sort and will strive to keep their love interest all to themselves putting a new meaning to the term “If I can’t have you, no one can!” I can’t help but to wonder if actually killing Lily had crossed the pixies mind as this would take down the ‘distraction’ of what he’s supposed to do. Blunder in fact turns out to be a kind of gnome of sorts that wanted to go out adventuring and wound up in Blixs band of cohorts.

Unsurprisingly Brown Tom, Oona and Blunder are my favorite characters. Blunder has fun playing both sides which makes me wonder if any of the other Goblins and Darkness really looked closely under all his armor. He’s as silly and clumsy as his ‘brother’ but isn’t truly evil. Blix himself is in his own category He’s somewhat of a favorite more in the Love Hate Crush category because of personality and design (he intentionally was to resemble Keith Richards as a Goblin and Alice Paytons pretty cool)

The sound tracks to this are beautiful in my opinion and Tangerine Dream has been added to my list of 80’s interest music. I’m touchy on my movie score but both have their good points. Jerry Goldsmiths score is for the more contemporaries. The score by Tangerine Dream and Brandon K Verett  has more of an 80s feel.

Favorite Quotes:

“Fire, Fire Burning higher, higher making music like a Chior!”

“Human Realm turned to Ice, here is Goblin Paradise!”

“Black as Midnight . .  . Black as Pitch  . . . Blacker than the foulest Witch”

“What is a Bell that cannot ring, but the melody makes the angels sing”

“What Do I care for Mortals hearts! A fairies heart beats fierce and free A Mortals heart’s as weak as porridge!”

“The Princess was so sweet; I could eat her brains like jelly!”

“It was beauty that tamed the Beast!”

Lo: Love is Hell

After practicly watching this film called Lo into Low Budget B Movie Oblivion and back to Reincarnation I'd like to share my views on it. It's by a not so welly known Director Travis Betz who incidently has gotten five awards for it including of The Las Vegas International Film Festival, The Honolulu International Film Festival,  Something called the Shriek Fest Film Festival, The Austin Film Festival and The Boston Underground Film Festival. Impressive though I'm only Vaugly formilure with some underground Film Festivals This is a Romantic Black Comedy Horror flick but is sparing on blood and guts and builds more on stage setting and mind trickery. The make up effects are killer in some aspects I mean doing some one up in head to toe of a giant rat outfit and Lo himself. Jeez, the second focused on demon looks like he's from the Black Lagoon or something but is totally jump-your-bonesable in my opinion. Just a few minor flaws you wouldn't really pay attenchion to unless you're weird like me. Movie was made in less than a week, now thats cutting it short apparently he wanted to make sure he finished by Valentines Day.

So the synopsis is basically like if Faust was just an average Joe guy not a gifted Scholar  Theologist or in another version Doctor that was unsuccessful in love and suddenly met a strange young woman that appears suddenly and takes a liking to him, eventually falling in love only to have her taken away by demons leaving him severely injured. He turns to the left book they seemed to want so badly to find its a High Level Grimore and there's a page book marked with the summoning of a demon called Lo. I personlay would have flipped to a different page but he summons him and of course like all summoned demons immediately tries terrifying the crap out of Justin and picking at him. However little does he notice on first meeting he's sliding on the floor though he has legs. Lo reminds me of an even more wise ass deamon Bartimous (The Bartimous Trilogy) Foul language and insults is to be expected but this guy really ups the anti making you chuckle a bit while still shaking. 

Apparently Hell has no filing records as its a place of eternal tortour they have no need to; however finding just one person in there's going to be as hard as finding a needle in a hay stack so he begins literately picking Justin's brain. 

 

Most people can identify with Justin who are working stiffs just hustling along and is a bit geeky and meek but with a good heart but is a target for anyone to pick at human or demonic. His memories are played out on a kind of stage even the Comedy Tragedy Masks are actual people in a curtain hole. This I find interesting as it seems to both have a bit of the Japanese Noah and western staging. The single naked  light bulb hanging down kinda irks me but you learn to ignore it after a while. It's admit somethings up with April besides the fact she snarfed down two salads while he sat enjoying her pretty features (I mean seriously he's lucky he wasn't at a steak house o.o). When April is asked about her name; she took a minute to conjure her name, You could almost hear her listing off the months before April before she then added Oak. I'm honostly not meaning to make fun of people with a last name of a tree and first name of a flower, or season or Month but it did sound a bit suspicious as Lo points out with the question "Did your girlfriend just make up her name? This is over looked by both Justin an audience but still little weird no? This is the only play back memory Lo messes around with a bit saying what happened and what we remember could be two different things. In a strange sense he is right when I reflect on this later the human mind is an interesting thing especially the section responsible for retaining memory things like love or demensia or the latter could effect this. 

Jeez soon comes into the picture quietly but startlingly as even though he's dressed in an ahem borrowed general jacket with a Nazi arm band and cameo pants and boots and he has the book The Tragic Tales of Dr. Faust in his hands, his eyes are hanging out of his head! I have to admit I still squirm on watching for the twenty fith time on this. I've never been a ruptured eye or exploded head fan. The way he puts them backs disturbing too. It's revealed even though he's the demon who fetched April back to Hell he isn't a total jerk, In fact on the contrary he's more of the fun of the three having a kind of surfer/stoner catch phrase and accent that was possibly once popular in the sixties to seventies slang. He seems just enthralled with Justin by the fact that he managed to 'Tame the Beast'. He has a singing bid all his own complete with a demon zombie band there's no annoying naked light bulb stage just a kind of concert stage with a poster draped in the back reading Jeez and the Go 2 Hell Boyz. Every one's dressed up in old school Du Wap suites you'd see from the late Fifties. Yes I still laugh at this but then it's like damn  he looks good in that. He also drops not too suddel hints about April's past and her nature; particularly that of her heart which changes at the drop of a hat. He also calls April It instead of the phony name she goes by or even she insisting demons aren't defined by the cage of sex.

The Song seems to have gone over Justin's head and possibly everyone else's Lo steps or more slides in again with a Donates Inferno aspect summoning two tortured souls forward to confront Justin apparently the two figured asking for supernatural help in conception in return for their souls seemed more substantiate then adoption or invitro fertilization. The child died shortly after birth. I'm sorry but saw that coming as supernatural contracting is just full of fine print and grey areas. April is the demon held responsible for their pact and punishment. There is yet another shadow screen here but it's still effective. 

Now to talk about this waiter/ bar tender guy that seems to always be there in the flash backs and apparently he's in Hell too and appears to Justin and audience and its a wtf?! moment He seems normal enough and mixes a strange "April Drink" that looks like green Kool Aid or something and nudges it into the circle where Justin sits. The whole comment of Lo being its just a concoction to loosen the soul in order to wounder Hell sounds fishy to me; because apparently April's in serious lock up and Lo can't get her out. For those of you that would yell at the screen at this moment saying "DON'T DO IT YOU IDIOT"Some would say they'd do it anyways for the object of affection. It actually is slow acting poison as Jeez later points out because demons enjoy watching their victims squirm and die slowly. This is not helping the fact he's already going chestnuts from the wound he inflicted on his hand in order to summon Lo which is not only getting infected but also channeling his thought out loud. 

Not exactly Evil Dead material but Justin is still trying to cut it off and possibly speed up the dying process. Justin's breaking point and possibly every one else s is etched on  in getting laughed at at every possible thing that's been watching or talking to him. In a moment of insane mad driving laughter that could make anyone twitch. It's worse for those who already experience delusions of people laughing at them any way. 

This is the last straw! You can't blame Justin for getting up and yelling at Lo having an actual visible spine Get  her then F off! For once Lo quietly scoots away. Jeez comes on his own free will to offer Justin some Groovy advice (jeez Jeez) Apparently you can go to a regular human hospital and pump out demonic poison given he leaves and closes out the circle. Even after all this his devotion holds strong even if Aprils a demon he can't live without her. His and Jeezes serious discussion over Love almost brings tears  even though he does manage to piss him off making him give the bird before he goes at his comment of "Warning! if you die here you belong to us". It gives a whole new meaning to Screw You.  April seems to finally make a live appearance in an effort to get the idiot to save himself but after successful convincing; as he's going to leave without her its revealed this time it  was Lo who could have very easily killed him once he took the barrier down in his weakened state instead he extracted the poison and persuaded him to close out the circle before it was too late. 

Perhaps April told him to do it as most demons are good at imitation down to the T or maybe he got tired of the sick puppy hanging around the gates of Hell for someone that wouldn't be able to ever leave again. Aprils inhuman form isn't revealed but you have to nearly wounder if Lo didn't hold affections for her. In a way Justin is a little like Faust though not experienced in magic arts, not seeking knowledge but still willing to go through literal Hell at the expense of his well being. The human heart can't be deterred once fixed on something; even if that somethings hardly human. 

This is the warm charm I find in Lo aside from the R rating language, mood lighting, and mostly retention to one area. Those that experience real love would march any where and brave anything to get back what they love most even if there's a possibility they may not be loved back. Lo is a take it or leave it film. Glorious effort in story telling, make up effects and soundtrack. Justin's Them continually plays through out if you listen hard enough, it's sometimes disguised by instrument but it's there. Over all I give it a good five Du Wop Zombies out of five for emotion and originality. 

Now I just have some questions and maybe comments here though; like why the hell didn't Justin take some supplies into the circle with him?! I mean I know you're desperate to get the pretty girl back but come on man a sleeping bag, food,bandages for slicing open your hand and something to drink and matches or lighter for the candles wouldn't kill you!

1) Lo dude what's up with the mouth? It looks like Justin interrupted him eating something when he summoned him. It just kind of stays there too making me just stare at his mouth when he talks.

2) April always in a red dress and heels. Is this supposed to mean something or is this the only outfit aside from the pjs they had her have?

3) Jeezes High Jacked Military Jacket! It has high ranking bands, a curious patch on the left side, a curious crest on the left side under the bands of honor, a Nazi arm band on his  right arm and a freken white lion on his back that isn't noticeable until he turners in the one and only back shot in Justins memory of when April was taken. Not to mention them shoulder pad things. If this isn't a mixed signal I don't knowwhat is. Aside from April we also know Jeezs is a possible war monger that loves the taste of human blood but this mash up complete with the cameo pants, no shirt, studded arm bands and boots not to mention the red band across his chest completely confuses me. Did the custom department have fun with this or what? Maybe they wanted to mix World Wars Military assortment. The hanging eyes that only appears earlier on in the film when Justin re meets Jeez. That  is explained in the final memory and fight scene before Aprils taken. If you're finger pistoled in the head I'd imagine your eyes would dangle out right away this doesn't happen after he gets back up after a brief moment of stunning.

4) Did the camera guy intend on also filming the people working  behind the curtain? We see them in the background of every stage act with the exception of Jeezes song number

5) Jeezes make up is also awesome however it seems they didn't do a full body effect. When he's t in his singer suite you can see the gaping of make up effect a little bit beyond the cuff when he stretches out his hands. This problems covered in his military outfit when he has the leather studded wrist bands. His chest is covered down the abdomen however o.o Also for just an instance his eyes look almost hazel to me at times. This goes on and off especially on his up close sequences. I don't know if its the lighting or if  at times they forgot to put his contacts back in after breaks. I like them either way don't get me wrong :3

6) Can demons really smoke? If so do they get cigarette breaks? We see all three pulling out a light and stick, in Jeezes case also an old school cigarette holder in accompaniment to his.

Fave Movie Quotes see if you can figure who says them:

"Now whats a stringy Pork Chop like you doing with a book like that?"

"You can't summon and control two demons, its like trying to f*%* two chicks with one d*** . . skibob"

"Yes . . I do bit it isn't mixed yet and its lacking a base line so you don't get to hear it Nah!!"

"So what the Lump Theory's Bull***?"

"Well, pretend I'm April, Hi Justin I'm April blah! blah! blah!"

"This Guy? Nice Costume"

"Sister, you're way out of practice"

"Are you sure it wasn't a bear? I hear they're getting braver these days"

"I knew it! You're a Racist!"

"Frighted little girls shouldn't play with pentagrams"

"I hope so, I don't scratch"

"oh come on I know you want to kiss me" 

"Dude, dude I heard you fell for the 'drink this and walk through Hell' bit"

"Miss me? You're silly"

"Let me offer you some Groovy advice"

"Maybe I can,  I just don't want you to know it"

"I can do anything" 

"Hey dumb ass! Are you trying to speed up the dying process or what?"

"I need to know details . . in order to find her amongst the countless souls floating about in Hell. kind of roomy, been around since the Dawn of man. We don't keep records"

"So I'll just reach into the ass of Hell and get her for ya"

"I though Christmas was just an all month party that ends December the twenty fifth"

"Justin . .terrible name for a human doesn't fit your future I shall baptize you as . .Dinner"

"Oh, oh, oh oh Dinner I have a question: did your girlfriend just make up her name?"

"Warning! You die here you belong to us!"

Quirks 

• Aprils Sense of red fashion
• Jeezes mashed up Military General Outfitt
• Lo's comments on the human phyce
• Giant human sized dancing rates
• Jee's stoner Sixty/Seventies Slang 
• Jeez slays his audience in more than one way
• Zombie Du Wop Band
• Aprils suddel mood swings 
• Aprils swords bigger than Jee's Ax 
• Justin's sleeping face
• Los crass humor mixed with terror teqniqes
• Waiters falow you even into hell or maybe they're from it
• Jeez is the only demon to have more than one out fit
• Du Wop concert stage
• Zombie band members

Kudos 

• use of Shadow Screen 
• Costum design 
• Play Stage 
• Mood fitting soundtrack
• special effect lighting and sound
• character make up and design
• Nicley shared dialog